Vanilla Flavoring: The Good Kind
I have spent the past few weeks incarnating a heavy noir dolloped scene from a Mitchum film. I wander aimlessly; catching a bazillion extra-happy people sorts in in tableaus I'll never share. You know, that general fellin' bad for myself stuff that comes with the loss of a loved one, and the series of flashbacks; guilts, joy, smiles, and tears the loss conjures up and into your soul.
Then it happens! I'm post- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and half way into Eddie Izzard's Circle dvd when it hits me. I can not stand mushrooms anymore.
I don't mean druggie mushrooms - I mean the bobble headed run-of-the-mill sorts, the Asian sorts and the pickled spiced sorts. I leapt from the couch, wiped the crumbs off my carcass of gloom and decided ! Aha. I am back.
My mind was "wandering." I was sub-dividing my attention. I was thinking about shopping for "real" food again - while Mr. Izzard pointed out clever blatantly obvious facts for the hip-audience (the bible starts 65 million years post dinosaurs - yet...the Adam thing is the "beginning?" or the World Series which is only American). Still I went "elsewhere..." I am me again!
I have been surviving on flavored coffee and granola bars; okay and mini-pecan pie servings...
I believe this to be a sign. A lifting of the fog. The Carpenter-like dranatic fog I have been lost in...
I grabbed my confused poodle Taylor (named for Johnny Eager's Robert Taylor) and went for a walky woo-woo as we use to do. We went down "those streets." The new "only kid" seems to be okay too. The constant treat flow , and the bi-polarish rants of his psycho mother grabbing him in the middle of the night - just to be sure he's still breathing; and the quiet (ahem) weeping into a pillow probably made him a bit weary about his own future. His little doggy brain warning, "Hmm. Clyde pooped in the house...and now he's gone...This lady's finally snapped! Just smile, give doggie kisses and do the poodle-eye thing when she catches your eye....I'll be okay..." Or he just knows something we don't about death and realizes his brother's just ceased to be after a full and happy life.
We are going to the park today. It will be our first time since...I think he's ready. And I am so pleased I thought of the mushrooms and my new found guilt-free admission of disgust pre-purchase. Besides hating wasting food (a New Englander thing I think), I dare not watch the mushrooms declining stages.You ever see a mushroom that's rotting on the third shelf? They are ALREADY fungus - so they go to levels that make an MIT student tilt their head - trust me - it aint pretty. Well one stage is a bit cool - very Peter Max-ish, but it's followed by goo and a smell unequal (on this earth anyway).
New at my BLUNT REVIEW.com ? Terry Gilliam and The Brothers Grimm review-> http://www.bluntreview.com Plus SIN CITY is available through the Amazon clip- this is one you really must own. I pour the rich vanilla flavor syrup into the coffee and it's actually sweet again.